just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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