I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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