I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
