Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
