He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
