Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
