why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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