Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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