My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
