Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
