Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
