Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
