sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I had to cum in my sink.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
