Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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