so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We talked him into tasing himself.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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