he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
