i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
