Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
me + whiskey = a bad person
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
