i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There's always time for handjobs
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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