In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
