all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
