pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
