It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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