Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize