My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
