the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
