dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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