Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
