brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm both gender and math confused
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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