how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
