I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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