the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You were trust falling into bushes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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