Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
