Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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