I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
