apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
