she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
