woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
