TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
