I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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