honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
