dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
