shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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