Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
