someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
