if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The struggles of a small town man whore
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
