I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my being single is dangerous.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
