i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
