i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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