Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
