i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
